Two Days In Tel Aviv

"Examine the contents, not the bottle."

-The Talmud

On July 16th and July 18th, a day after my trip to Jerusalem, I had the pleasure to visit Tel Aviv. Both were quite interesting. The 16th's visit was one I was expected to go to, whereas the 18th I was more or less dragged.

Both were great experiences.

After visiting an international college, with frankly the nicest campus I have ever seen, complete with every building being a museum, and built on the grounds of a former Israeli air base from its early days, we then went to Tel Aviv.

We visited its marketplace, A never-ending hall of stalls that reminds one of Vegas; keep your eyes forward and off the ground, you wont like what you see otherwise.

The smell was pretty rancid, but if you're going off your senses to tell you whether or not a place is desirable, there are many places in the world you would avoid when otherwise there is a great experience to have.

Throughout this whole trip I have not had a phone. If I separate from those I am with, I am effectively lost, and I imagine for a long while that will probably involve police to recover me. You know that line in The Hangover 2, Bangkok has him? Yes, I know that line as a precaution for not getting lost in Jerusalem, and especially so in Tel Aviv.

So I clung to the group that seemed the most reliable, and that was the girls of our kibbutz, Livy, Sharon, and Mathilde. That turned out to be the better choice. Because with them I was encouraged to go balls to the walls and throw caution to the wind; had I stuck with the guys I would probably not have held a rope that supported an Israeli female soldier walking across it without falling, engaged in a limbo contest, nor have danced in the central area outside of the city market.

Luckily we caught me terribly dancing on video;

That was pretty much one of the most enjoyable days I have had yet in Israel, but it got better two days later.

You see everyone from our Kibbutz opted to visit Tel Aviv on the Sabbath, and those who stayed behind, just four of us, inevitably decided to go out also. I wouldn't say we're more cautious, it's just that jealousy and boredom took the reigns at some point, and we decided why be left behind.

I was perfectly content being left behind, but one particularly generous member among us (he bought ice cream at one point when visiting the college for everyone from our kibbutz, and gave some to the faculty and security guards also that was leftover) More or less told me at the local pub that I should come, and later, that he had already arranged the taxi for the 3 of us. So I would be wasting his money if I didn't go. Jewish guilt won over, and I was ready at 9 the following morning.

So off we went to Tel Aviv! 

And let's just say what a crazy freaking day. We had an amazing breakfast; a buffet that served vodka and cham-pag-ne (I wrote it that way because if Hugo, who was part of our three musketeer trio reads this ever reads this, it will make him cringe since I called it that all that day deliberately to annoy him) I distinctly remember the eggs and the birds that would tear your food from the table the second you turned your back on it. 

We then wandered the city in search of cigars. We wouldn't find them for seven hours, when the Sabbath had ended. We next went to the art museum. We had a good time; I did learn that I am not meant to go to art museums, and if I want to avoid being arrested in the future, I should just avoid them. I'll leave it at that and cultural misunderstanding. Luckily no trouble came of it.

We ended up having lunch in a pizzeria outside the main boulevard, and coffee at a shop across the street. I distinctly remember being flirted with by a waitress I thought was fifteen (children as young as I swear eight are employed here for even hard labor, I would know, I work on the noi or landscaping service, in our kibbutz and saw many servicing the shops in Tel Aviv, even a candy stall)  but turned out to already be married. This is such a strange country; there are so many beautiful women, and I can't tell if the women who are around eighteen and twenty to twenty five are actually. So I have somewhat of a fear of dating Israeli women.

Anyway, we then wandered into the Little Italy of Tel Aviv, we three musketeers; Hugo, San, and myself (Alexander for those who don't know my name). Desert is a kind of mythical meal; much like I imagine if a Brit were to go looking for a place that actually catered to tea time as a specific meal in the United States; here's one thing I learned, you won't find desert in Israel. At least we haven't yet, between Jerusalem and Tel Aviv. 

Eventually we left, smoking cigars near the pier of Tel Aviv in a place that also served alcohol. I've frequented bars, hookah locales, but never one that combined the two, so that was pretty cool.

We then walked the pier until heading home in a Taxi that did everything it could to overcharge us as legally justifiably it could; and we returned to the kibbutz by seven. Both days were an adventure; anytime you dance with a random crowd of people, especially for a charity event, or accidentally potentially ruin something priceless, you cannot know what it means to go on an adventure until you do those things in a foreign city in a foreign country.

All my best as the fighters fly overheard as usual,

Alexander.